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Saturday, November 20, 2021

5 Down, 1 to go!

5 rounds of chemo are in the books. The last week was pretty rough on Rick, and so I am glad the chemo is coming to an end. It hurts to see him dealing with the crap that comes with chemo. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.... ONE MORE to go!

Doc is happy with the blood test results! This news is very encouraging. PSA is down to 21!!!! 

I think the hardest part about this journey is the loss of friends. People I cherished, and enjoyed have dropped off the radar. It is something I am really trying to understand, but no matter how much I think about them it still hurts!!!! This is really a time in life that friendship should mean more because the support of a friend helps weather the rough seas. 

Friends that have struck around, know that your check-ins mean the world to me!!! And to Rick!!!! Rick needs his friends just as much as I do.   Helps us to cope, which helps us deal with what life is dealing right now. 

I look forward to the days of near normalcy again. (If that will ever be a thing).  Days that cancer is not in the forefront. 


Sunday, October 17, 2021

Bucket list or a Dream come true?

Fantastic Weekend!
All ready to go ride with the big kids!
Riding in front of all the big kids so they get use to us and not freak out. 

I don't have a bucket list per say, but I do have Dreams that I hope will come true one day.

I use to dream about riding horses in a competition. I think I was like 5 then. I learned you had to own a horse first. Santa Clause never did bring me a horse. I really doubted him from then on. 

As I grew older I wanted to ride horses with the other girls who had horses. I learned that girls who owned horses were.....well they just were......If you did not have a horse, you were not one of them, even if they owned a half a dozen horses. They did not like to share. I get it now, and totally understand why that is. 

A few years later life happened. Marriage and a family. Then I became a horse owner one day in my late 50's! WOW! After a lot of trial and error I accepted that this was also not the path for me.

Later on, a couple of Mini Ponies came into my life. Boy did those two rock my world. Time has creeped on and I have one that I have been concentrating my time on. CRICKET! That boy IS My WORLD! 

We have worked very hard to get to where we are today I have to give credit to my two Grandsons who have helped in this endeavor. 

This weekend was the weekend! Cricket and I got to ride with other gals and their horses! It didn't matter if were were the smallest. His big horse attitude more than makes up for any size he is lacking. 

I have to keep in mind that Cricket IS ONLY 4 years old so he does have a lot of learning yet to do, but he was a trooper for the weekend!  

I do believe that Cricket did some growing up during this time too. It was so good for him, and even better for me. I now feel confident enough to take a drive with him around the neighborhood. 

I am attempting to upload a video here and not sure that it will succeed. 

I don't know how long the trail ride was. I was hoping it was a mile. I think it was 5 miles and I know Cricket just knew it was 10 miles! We went up and down little hills, in a harvested wheat field, and trotted half way up a very large hill. He was a huffing and a puffing! I felt so bad for him that I got out of the cart half way up the hill and walked the rest of the way up the hill with him. The hill was so steep I was really worried about coming down it. But I found out that if I kept one of my cart wheels in the tumble weeds it had a bit of breaking power and did not push him down the hill and so we walked very nicely down that long steep hill!

At the turn around spot on the trail ride Cricket was tired of waiting for everyone to get going back, he decided to just lay down. I think he had the intention of rolling but the cart prevented that. Once he was down he did not quite know how to get out of his predicament! So I grabbed his head and helped him to his feet. (Thank you Linda for that advise) Then it is always good to have friends that take pictures first before attempting to help out. LOL I had him up before any help was needed though.

When your horse laughs at you....PRICELESS!
Neither of us were hurt and Cricket came thru this unscathed. 

We were horse tired when we got back to camp. Cricket was all jacked up. He ran with the big kids and he thought he was a big kid now. I had to feed him in the trailer, because he kept talking and yelling at anyone that walked by. I think he grew up a little bit this weekend. I know my horizons have expanded quite a bit.

This morning when I went out to feed I was sure that he would be a bit gimpy. Muscle sore? NOTHING! And here I am having a hard time getting up and down out of my chair. LOL

I look forward to a lot more rides with this young buck, and we shall grow together in our rides.

Very hard to take pictures when you drive. So I did not get to many. It was a lot of fun, and by next year, Cricket and I will be a pro!





 


Thursday, September 23, 2021

I am DONE Adulting!

 


Oh what a day yesterday was.....

I don't even know where to start. 

First off I have a job. One that is driving me insane. Isn't a job suppose to be fun, challenging and exciting? Ummm....This one drags me down so far I have a hard time pulling myself up. It is not the paperwork, I love the "JOB" itself, but some people just don't know how to be good employers.

But that is ok, I am looking and praying, and I know God will hear me. 

I get home, and do my chores. Seems like I have so many chores these days. Never use to bother me and I looked forward to them, but my back issues hurt so bad at times, it brings me down to my knees. RELIEF is at my knees. Bent over with tears falling on the ground! 

Oh doctors won't do any thing. Been down that road. they just want to drug you up and send you home with exercises that makes my back hurt worse. I have degenerated disks. I need them fixed. I am to active!  

Then we go to town to do a bit of grocery shopping as I needed a few things. Well a few things ended up being $149.00 in just a few things. Gosh things have gotten so expensive! 

On the way home we stop at TACO BELL for dinner. I know....it is not really dinner, but at least it makes a turd. To begin with, I should of known things would go to shit in a hand basket soon. 

There was a sign on the door to use the OTHER DOOR pointing to the one that faces the highway. Umm how odd is that. So we go in and we place an order. I state I wanted a Steak Power bowl salad and a small nachos. The order taker immediate jumps on that wagon and said they don't have nachos. (I understand they are not called that but I could not read the menu so I just said forget it.) and just ordered the power bowl. "Is this to go or eat in?" she asked. "I said we will eat it here."

Rick places his order.

Our order was out right quick and so we sit down to eat. I hand Rick his order, and I pull out my delicious smelling steak salad. Ummmm...no fork to eat with. How Odd I thought. So I go up to the counter....

While I watch workers run around, and am being ignored, I wave my hand to catch the eye of one of the employees:

"Mam'am....."

She walks over to the counter and says, "Yes?"

I said: "Can I get a Fork Please?"

She looks at me funny and says, "A fork?" (Like it was a foreign object)

I said "Yes, I need something to eat my salad with."

(Here is the clincher!)

She said: "We do not have any forks. We only have knifes."

I was dumbfounded! I Said, "How am I to eat my salad?"

The only reply she had was, "We did not get any forks in our shipment this week, only knifes." and turned around and walked away!

It took me a minute to compose myself, walk back to the table, put our food back in the bag it was delivered to us in, and walk out the DOOR WE WERE NOT SUPPOSE TO USE, and went home to eat! 

YES....I AM DONE ADULTING FOR A FEW DAYS, Possibly weeks!






Monday, September 13, 2021

Shrinkage.......

 


We all know what this is. 

As we get older we are not as limber as we once were.

Most things shrink with age too. 

And our arms are one of them. 

So when it came time for a friend of ours to need some suppositories the ole arms were just not long enough to do the job. 

So in comes the:

THE SUPPOSITORY INSERTER!

Didn't know they made such a thing but glad to know that there is someone out there that invented this little gadget to help insert something up our ass!

It was a bit confusing, but the suppository got inserted. There is a little stopper on it, and since it was not known what position that stopper should be in, the suppository did not get inserted "ALL" the way in. But he figured out that it would melt and all would be fine.

Since he was in the kitchen, in his birthday suit, he figured that he would rub some CBD ointment on his hip that was aching pretty bad. Leaning on the counter kind of stretched the hip joint allowing for a bit of relief as he rubbed the ointment onto his hip area.

All of a sudden something triggered the mother of all sneezes. Out flew the suppository. It hits the floor and slides across the room.  Just as he turns around to see where it went,  in swooped his dog and ate up the suppository!

Now dogs have iron stomachs and a nose for ass. 

Not knowing really what to do he went off to work anyway.

Upon arrival of coming home, the dog met him at the door all happy like!

His PEZ dispenser had arrived! 

LOL


 











Sunday, September 12, 2021

Just because..............

 I do not think like you. Nor have the same ideas as you. Walk the same line as you do. Does that make me a bad person? Does that make me not a good friend? Can't friends have different thoughts? Different ideas? SURE THEY CAN and that is what makes friendships work. It really is a two way street. 

I don't know. But I do know that if we all thought alike, and all did the very same things, and did not have our own minds to think for ourselves, we would all be zombies. 

I just got unfriended on FB today because I made a comment to her post that was not in line with her own thoughts. I got unfriended by her. WOW! 

We really were not FRIEND FRIENDS anyway, just casual acquaintance's really. 

But someone that only wants to be friends if you only think one way....Their way....just does not agree with me.

Just think of the conversations you wouldn't have, because you would only think alike. Why talk to each other if you don't have different ideas?  

I enjoy conversations, and other ideas people might have. I firmly believe you can agree to disagree and still be friends. 

FB has become very hateful territory these days. Do this! Do That! Mandate this! Mandate that! I don't dare make any comments on my FB page, EVEN THOUGH people can just scroll on by and ignore it, but they don't. And then the keyboard warriors are at it in full swing. I have deleted innocent posts I have posted because people just go so nasty in the comments. 

So I comment on my blog! A place where I feel safe because so far no one comments on the blog. TEEHEE.....I feel safe. I feel like I am invisible.



Saturday, September 11, 2021

Who needs Hair, anyway?

 



Some cultures believe that hair is an extension of your spirit or soul...literally connecting you to the earth with its downward growth. Think of it as your hair aura. When hair is cut, the spirit is thought to live on inside the strands, giving the hair protective powers and strength. Want proof? According to one story, expert Native American trackers were recruited by the U.S. army as scouts during the Vietnam War. After receiving standard crew cuts, they were unable to perform in the field, claiming to have lost their abilities. If you think of each hair—individually connected to the scalp like an antenna—as bringing in sensory information from your environment, the tale makes all kinds of sense. Cultures that practice this belief use hair in amulets, rain charms, and medicinal treatments. Ever heard of keeping a lock of baby hair for good luck? Pretty powerful stuff. 

On Tuesday September 7th, 2021 15 days after first Chemo treatment....hair starts to fall out. Didn't think it would happen, but it is. Today is 4th day. We are taking bets as to when it will all be gone. 1 day. 2 days. 3 or 4 days? Every day seems like he looses half of what he has. This would put it 2 days out from now.

Rick feels pretty good other than his hair falling out and looking for hats that are really cool to wear. His wardrobe leaves a lot to be desired. We figure he will be hairless for the next 5-6 months. So that really puts him thru the winter time with no insulation on his head.

A pink Beanie symbolizing CANCER would be nice, and you are never to man enough to skip wearing pink. 




Since I am crafty I could make him a hat and even a beard to help with the whole facial hair loss. 





Then I found they actually have a wig that might work.......



BUT........Rick has never been one to have the comb over look.



This one would be a quick one to throw on as you are darting out the door to run to town. 

But my all time favorite is this one: 



Did I mean I like furry things?

All kidding and joking aside, it really is not a laughing matter and would never have chosen this path in life. But God put us here so we need to make the best of it. 

I love my man to the ends of the earth and will walk right beside him the whole way. 

The BRCA1 Test came back as negative. This means that the hormone gene that drives his cancer is not disfigured, morphed, incomplete, (oh for pete sake the work escapes me right now) but you get my drift. The hormone is completely normal.

BUT................:There was another gene with no name to it that was a bit deformed, malnourished, what ever the medical terminology is for it. They do not have specific tests to determine this particular gene, but if in the future they do figure it out, they will be sure to let us know. Because as we all know, science evolves every single day and they will make a discovery on it at some point.

This is it for the update so far. Come Monday 9-13-2021 is round TWO of CHEMO!  1 down, 5 to go. 









 

Wednesday, September 1, 2021

Toxic screen check up.....



A week after each chemo treatment Rick will have a tox-screen check up. 

They draw blood to see how you are responding to chemo.

A week after first treatment the doctor was very happy with his results and said that Rick is making good progress. His liver enzymes are good. His kidney function has improved. 

Calcium was a little low so he is to take an extra one for yesterday. She said that the body only absorbs 600mg of calcium at a time. The pills I got are 600mg with Vit D in them. So taking two at once is not conducive to the body absorbing it. So taking one in the morning and one at night is the best way to take calcium. 

AND... PSA SCORE IS 91.2!

Down from 2640 initially and second test was 320 I believe. So things are improving! 

And all the prayers have helped!!! Keep them going as we want a clean and clear check up for Christmas! 

So in celebration of such good news, I think a bike ride this weekend is in order.

Don't forget the Harley Road Glide is still up for grabs.....

https://www.cycletrader.com/listing/5017591098



Tuesday, August 31, 2021

IVERMECTIN, What is it?

 

Seems the long time safety and efficacy of Ivermectin has done a 180 reversal and is now poisonous to humans. I am not quite sure how that happens but it also happened with Chlorine Dioxide as it miraculously turned into bleach according to the media. It too had been used for MANY decades safely to heal all manner of disease all over the world. If you recall, the ultra safe Hydroxi also ran afoul this strange phenomena as well. All so strange until you tie the loose ends together........

Now the three substance do seem to vector on the same event of the rona and only seem to have become "dangerous" after many MANY thousands of people were cured of the rona with said substances administered by many THOUSANDS of Doctors and hospitals all over the world.

So as I was perusing the news (the real and truthful news that is), I ran across a piece that was talking about Japan refusing to use a specific vaccine because they found them quite contaminated with substance that should not be in them, yet were. Now that, in and of itself, is not newsworthy as the vaccines have been contaminated the entire process as reported from one source to another. Rather, it was the conclusion that he Japanese health ministers arrived at that stood out for me.

Do you wanna hear it?

Are you sure?

Are you sitting down?

The Japanese health ministers recommended that Doctors treat their rona patients with IVERMECTIN.

 Now to make it easy for you, here is a link to this information:

Japanese medical association chairman told doctors last Feb. to prescribe Ivermectin for COVID - LifeSite (lifesitenews.com)

 (To make it even easier, I will copy and paste the whole article at the end……..)

 So, either the Japanese officials HATE and want to MURDER their population OR they are actually trying to save their population, unlike our health officials. As our officials have lied to us EVERY step of the way, I'm siding with the Japanese health officials.

Rolling out these three therapeutics and administering them widely puts an end to this rona tomorrow. That our "health officials" refuse the use of these three curatives makes them guilty of genocide, conspiracy to commit battery, Nuremburg code violations (like.... ALL of them), R.I.C.O., conspiracy to commit murder, murder..........

You are being played. I don't know how to lay this out any more plainly!

 DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH! IT IS OUT THERE!  This is NOT saying that you take the HORSE meds, but…..just remember it is ALL BASED ON AMOUNT per WEIGHT! 

 

Japanese medical association chairman told doctors last Feb. to prescribe Ivermectin for COVID


'While the list of crimes committed by authorities during the COVID-19 pandemic is a long one, perhaps the biggest crime of all is the purposeful suppression of safe and effective treatments.'



Fri Aug 27, 2021 - 2:48 pm EDT (NOTE: Current Article)

Correction: Thanks to a LifeSite reader it was discovered that this press conference was held in February of 2021 and NOT August as some others and then we reported. LifeSite regrets the error and corrections have been made. LifeSite always appreciates such information from readers. We will now be investigating whether the chairman’s recommendation was implemented and the results of either implementation or ignoring of the recommendation.

TOKYO (LifeSiteNews) – The chairman of the Tokyo Medical Association, Haruo Ozaki, held a press conference  Feb. 9, 2021 announcing that the anti-parasite medicine Ivermectin seems to be effective at stopping COVID-19 and publicly recommending that all doctors in Japan immediately begin using Ivermectin to treat COVID.

Ivermectin has been a source of controversy amongst medical professionals regarding the possibility of therapeutic treatments for those diagnosed with COVID-19.

In an article about the suppression of Ivermectin by health authorities, Dr. Joseph Mercola wrote: “While the list of crimes committed by authorities during the COVID-19 pandemic is a long one, perhaps the biggest crime of all is the purposeful suppression of safe and effective treatments.”

Multiple reports and studies have shown evidence that Ivermectin is effective in combating illness associated with COVID-19, and in some countries, like India, it is recommended for use even though the World Health Organization does not recommend it.

Dr. Ozaki cited evidence from African nations that have utilized Ivermectin during the pandemic. He stated: “In Africa, if we compare countries distributing Ivermectin once a year with countries who do not give Ivermectin… they don’t give Ivermectin to prevent COVID but to prevent parasitic disease… if we look at COVID numbers in countries that give Ivermectin, the number of cases is 134.4/100,000 and the number of deaths is 2.2/100,000.”

In 2019, Japan’s death rate from influenza amounted to 2.9 death cases per 100,000 inhabitants.

The Tokyo Medical Association chairman compared statistics from African countries that did use Ivermectin yearly with those that did not: “Now African countries which do not distribute Ivermectin: 950.6 cases per 100,000 and 29.3 deaths per 100,000.”

In his opinion, he believes that this shows a clear difference between the illness and fatality rates amongst nations that use Ivermectin and those that do not: “I believe the difference is clear. Of course one cannot conclude that Ivermectin is effective only on the basis of these figures, but when we have all of these elements, we cannot say that Ivermectin is absolutely not effective, at least not me.”

He added that, given the situation, other studies can be done to “confirm its efficacy,” insinuating that it is worth using as a treatment, given that in his estimation, Japan is “in a crisis situation.”

He said, “I think we are in a situation where we can afford to give [patients] this treatment.”

Another prominent Japanese physician, Dr. Kazuhiro Nagao, appeared on Japanese television proposing that COVID-19 should be treated as a Class 5 illness as opposed to its current classification as a Class 2. In Japan, illnesses are categorized by a classification system; approaching COVID as a Class 5 illness would mean that it could be treated like a seasonal flu.

About the effectiveness of Ivermectin in treating COVID patients, he said: “It starts being effective the very next day… My patients can reach me by message 24/7 and they tell me they feel better the next day.”

Nagao was asked by the TV anchor when patients should take Ivermectin if diagnosed with COVID-19. He replied: “The same day, I mean if you are infected today, you take it today… It is a medication that should be given for mildly ill patients. If you give it to hospital patients, it’s too late. This is also the case for the majority of drugs… So you have to give Ivermectin. I am asking our Prime Minister Suga to distribute this drug ‘made in Japan’ on a large scale in the country.”

He added that four pills should be distributed to everyone in the country, so that people can take them “as soon as you are infected.”

Ivermectin originates from a single microbe unearthed from soil in Japan, and in recent years has been called a “wonder” drug that continues to surprise and exceed expectations. It has shown “unexpected” potential as an antibacterial, antiviral and anti-cancer agent, according to a 2017 article from The Journal of Antibiotics.

The same article stated: “Ivermectin has also been demonstrated to be a potent broad-spectrum specific inhibitor of importin α/β-mediated nuclear transport and demonstrates antiviral activity against several RNA viruses by blocking the nuclear trafficking of viral proteins.”

Recently, pro-life activist Abby Johnson wrote about her experience with a COVID and her use of Ivermectin as an early treatment. She wrote that under the guidance of America’s Frontline Doctors, she took a combination of Ivermectin, Prednisone and Zithromax, and that she noticed results straight away, and by the fifth day felt fully cured.

Monday, August 30, 2021

Fried Dirt........

 



Well the inevitable showed its ugly head! Taste buds are toast! 

Chips tastes like used grease.

Refried beans taste like dirt. 

Buttered toast was ok this morning. 

He is finding out that he can taste all the chemicals in food. 

So if it is artificially flavored, he does not taste the Strawberry, or the cherry, but the chemical compound that makes up that flavor. Very odd indeed.

I researched the taste bud thing and it said that up to two months after the chemo sessions the taste buds would be messed up. It will be a challenge for sure now, to get food to taste some what palatable.

For now I guess he will have a little dirt fried in some grease, tossed with a few worms~



 

Thursday, August 26, 2021

Day or TWO After Chemo.......

Rick skated through Chemo on Monday. Did not even have to use the little dinner bell they gave him in case he felt odd and something wasn't right, so the nurse could come running, assess the situation and either stop the chemo drip or continue with it. He did awesome.

Then Tuesday he felt pretty good. But that afternoon before his radiation treatment he had to go get at shot called PEGFILGRASTIM INJECTION. You might know it by the name of NUELASTA since that brand has been heavily advertised on TV.

This injection is a long-acting granulocyte colony-stimulating factor that stimulates the growth of neutrophils, a type of white blood cell important in the body's fight against infection.  It is used to reduce the incidence of fever and infection in patients with certain types of cancer who are receiving chemotherapy that affects the bone marrow, and to increase survival after being exposed to high doses of radiation!

There are many side effects from this, but the most common is fatigue! and it hit! in the shower! I did not know this till after he came home from work, and he was really dragging. SO I drove him to his radiation therapy, in which they did the ARMS this time. This will be given the day after every Chemo treatment.

The arms takes a bit longer than the legs did, and the position he has to lie in is not comfortable.  

Glad to report he looks better this morning, and his fatigue is not as severe. Doctor did say that it would be a temporary thing, which is nice. Well not nice he has this, but nice it doesn't last to long. 




Monday, August 23, 2021

First Chemo and Fourth Radiation Treatment

 


Well today was Rick’s FIRST CHEMO treatment. They have been doing radiation on him and there will be a total of ten of those treatments. Radiation (first round which is his leg thighs and arms) Will end on August 31st. They will sneak some more radiation in later on.  Radiation is a piece of cake!

We packed up this morning, to head to Chemo knowing that it was going to be an all day thing.  A soft cozy blanket, (A little to warm for that one yet), a card game, Lap-Top computer (Robert sent to his dad just for Chemo appts), Cell phone, neck Pillow, (very useful that one was) Jesus Calling booklet, (God knows I really NEED THIS ONE), Gingersnaps. I carried THREE BAGS in there! I know someone thought we were just moving in! HAHA….

For the Tea, I made ½ Ginger and ½ Chamomile Lavendar and put it in a thermos.  YUMMMMY I must say! I am a bit surprised that Rick even liked it too.

Come to find out they have a huge snack bar! The only thing missing is the booze. We don’t drink anyway, but as of late every once in awhile I would probably tip a tote or two! So that will cut down on what I lug into the chemo sessions by two bags! HAHA….

So we (he) gets settled in and Megan, our (his) wonderful Nurse, says Let me get you all hooked up and then I will go over the paperwork with you, as she sets this 2” packet of papers on the side table.

She explains that first there is the saline flush to make sure everything is hooked up well and it all flows easily. Then comes the ZOLOF I think. Then there is the Benadryl bag, an anti-nausea bag, and I am sure I am missing one in-between. Each of those bags are about 20 minutes. Then we get to the REAL DEAL!  Megan gowns up in hazmat gear, and I am thinking that Rick and I will need to also, but then she explains since she is the one that is hooking Rick up, that she needs to be protected in case she spills because the Chemo is bad to get on your skin.

Ummmmmm     ok……A.N.D.…You are going to INJECT THIS INTO A BODILY VEIN?!??!  But I kept my mouth shut! 

She then goes on to explain everything in this packet from side effects to non side effects. From effects after the first 48 hours to effects beyond the 48 hours. From Constipation to Diarrhea! From Headaches to stomach aches. What symptoms to watch out for and need to make a phone call to them, or not….when or if, you need to go to the ER.  All the while I am really feeling more sick to my stomach than I should be. 

I kept asking Rick how he is feeling and he said fine….When she hung the Benadryl bag she said he might feel a bit tingly and woozy, (cause we all know BENADRYL is a sleep aid!) LOL…

NOTHING! I take two Benadryl capsules at bedtime to sleep and he got a big bag of that shit, IN THE VEIN! But that is good. I think… LOL

Right now, he and Cameron are up at the shop playing with the trike. I know he is itching to ride, (me too) but until we find out how he is really going to do on the chemo, which we really don’t know for a couple days or even a week for that matter, then the trike is off limits to ride. 

It has been a very long day, and my nights are even longer because I do not sleep well. I have pinched nerves in my hips and my legs are on the verge of Charlie horses 24/7! Not to bad during day when I am moving around, but stop and rest for the night, and then they hit ya. So I do not get much sleep. I do go see a back/bone/spine (whacha ma-call-it-doc) doctor on 8/23. Of course it is the LAST DAY OF RICK’S Radiation so I won’t get to hear him ring the bell! !

Rick will have 6 chemo treatments 21 days apart which will last 4 months. I did ask his Chemo doc today about the type of cancer that Rick had and for how long did he think Rick had it. He said that Rick probably had the cancer in his prostate for about a year, but then when it metastasized to his bones it went apeshit! (he was a bit more professional and said moved quite rapidly). I asked him if it was an aggressive cancer and he said yes. But he also said that with the chemo therapies today, there are many types and they are approving like a 100 different kinds each month for the different types of cancers out there. There is hope that Rick can get a handle on this. Doc said that he will live with cancer the rest of his life, but he can have a good quality of life. So that eases the worry a little bit…… (JUST A LITTLE BIT)……. Will have to see what God has in store for us at this stage in our lives.

I found out that “Cancer” is a very lonely word! Lonely when you are first told you have it, and lonely because when people find out you have it, they are scarce! Cancer is a lonely path for those traveling it, and those that are care givers.  I took care of my mom when she had cancer and it was very hard. I am gaining more experience now, so maybe my path to follow in life when I retire is to be a friend to someone in need that is traveling this lonely path of "C.A.N.C.E.R."

After Megan hooked the chemo bag up, Rick told me to go grocery shopping. No sense in sitting there an watching the 1...2...3...1...2...3...4 drip drip drips of the IV bag.  So I went to Winco. I walked in with a mask on, (can’t breathe), and I saw a woman with no mask on. I asked her if masks were required. She said nope, and if they were she would have to hire out her shopping. She said God has a bigger plan, which I know he does. I don’t know what started it, probably me, I said that today was hubby first day of chemo.

I SPOKE THE WORDS OUT LOUD to another human! Reality just hit! The tears stung my eyes! I felt foolish! She asked what his name was and if she could pray for him. Between sobs I said that would be wonderful.

This woman was the most kindest and gentlest soul! She use to be a caregiver nurse till her last patient whom passed away in Feb of this year was gone.  She has grown very fond of him, just like a dad.  It hit her really really hard and she just can’t anymore. I get it. Hard not to get attached, ya know!  Sometimes our hearts break into to many small pieces that can not find their way back to be mended. Or it just takes a long time to mend. 

Anyway, we exchanged names and phone numbers. This woman was an angel in disguise.  She said to call her any time. She told me that If I needed someone to come sit with Rick, that she will be here in a heart beat! If I have any questions to give her a call, because she was a nurse to cancer patients! (What are the odds?)  Who knows, maybe I will take her up on that.  I just might need a shoulder some time. Someone to just listen.

When people step out of your life, there are others that step in to fill that void. Each and every friend in our life has something different to bring to the table of friendship.  Each one has value. 

The doctor could not stress enough that Rick’s immune system is going to be NIL! ZERO! LOW! To LOWEST! He just won’t have one! So he has to be very careful about being around anyone! That means Parker and Brady! And THAT JUST breaks our hearts! They start school next week and so that is why distance will need to be observed. Because we all know, school is where germs run rampant and come home on unsuspecting school children! So until Rick gets his immune system up and running again, we (HE) have to be very, very careful! 

First Isolate because of Covid,  Now Isolate because of cancer! DAMIT TO HELL!

I wouldn't turn down any prayers if you feel the need to ask God for some help to send our way! I pray every day to give me strength to get to the next day, and for Rick to get well enough to enjoy retirement and we can go on a long awaited bike (Trike) trip! Yep, we are planning one for the summer of 2023.......Just travel and go where the road takes us. Stay as long as we want to, wherever we want to. 

Oh yeah, we are also trying to sell the HARLEY (Click the Blue word HARLEY to go see the bike) that stands tall on two wheels. So if you are interested let us know. OR share it to someone you know.

https://www.cycletrader.com/listing/5017591098






Wednesday, August 18, 2021

Cricket, this is what it’s all about!

We worked a long time to get where we are today! Your 4 1/2 years old! 
 This.... is my world....
We made it! 










Tuesday, August 17, 2021

Things are starting to get real!

 

Things are ramping up and going to get crazy.
Keep us in your prayers that we will remain strong and persevere thru all of this.

On Friday August 13th, we went to Dr. LaWenda's office and met with Olivia and she went over all the test kits. What to do. When to do it. How much to do. I tried to take notes, but it just did not seem to work. Came home so confused.

There are 5. One of them is an all day test. Every hour you have to give up part of your body fluids in one form or another. 
An important test is the BRCA1 test kit that will determine if Rick has the ugly deformed gene that causes hormone cancer. 
The other tests are to test his body to see what vitamins, minerals and other things he is lacking or supplemental in. 

I shall take my own advice, and go....

ONE STEP AT A TIME!
We will git'er done. 


Today August 17th we go back to Dr. Foss office and Rick will get a Lupron injection in the buttocks instead of the one in his stomach which really hurt bad. But it was an emergency shot at the time, to stop the production of Testosterone immediately!  The Lupron shot will last for 3 months and won't be so painful this time.

Starting Wednesday, August 18th Rick will go for Radiation treatments at 5 PM each day of the week for 10 days. They only last about 15 minutes and I do not project any problems except maybe some fatigue. He is getting his upper arms and thighs radiated. 

His bones are quite brittle right now, the doctor said, due to the cancer in the them leaking all the calcium from the bones. He could break a bone very easily and so the radiation will help to put some strength back into them by getting some or most of the cancer out.
Fingers crossed this works because he does not follow doctors orders very well. 

Then on August 23rd. this coming Monday  he will start Chemo.
Our schedule on Monday is quite busy:
9:45AM arrive for labs
10:45AM: meeting with Dr. Hague
11:15AM: Start the Chemo which will last for 4 hours. Should be done about 4 PM.
Just in time to get to his Radiation appointment at 5 PM.

Initially Dr. Hague said that Chemo would be every three weeks for the next 8 months. I don't know if this has changed since it seems that things are changing weekly at this point. 

Dr. Hague said that Rick is strong right now, and he has every confidence that he will be able to tolerate this plan of attack on the cancer.

After this, our days are a mystery. As soon as it sorts itself out though, I will post an update.

Oh and our insurance company sent a notification that they are NOT APPROVING the NUELASTA that Dr. Hague wants to use to help Ricks body regenerate the good cells that the Chemo will kill.
The cost of Nuelasta is $3,000.00 to $7,000.00 per injection. 
Side effects of Nuelasta can be quite severe. 
Nuelasta would be a ONCE inject per Chemo round.

 Other drugs the insurance company does approve of is:
Neupogen, Udenyca, Granix, Fulphila, and Ziextenzo.
These do just about the same thing, yet cost way less, but you do have to take more than one injection.

So maybe the insurance company is doing Rick a favor. 
We will see.





 

Wednesday, August 11, 2021

Strong yet weak...........

 



I appear strong, yet on the inside I can crumble at any time!
The appointments.
The emotions.
The information.
The future!

Our calendar looks like a Bingo board. 

I am alone........

I try to stay positive.  We will get thru this.
Then I question, WHY?
The world has become a nasty place!

Covid has manage to take everything away!
Friendships.
Trips.
Jobs.
Love!

It now hosts:
Loneliness.
Isolation.
Laziness.
Hate.

The whole world has gone crazy!
Satan is running amuck and is out of control!

I lost two friends in the last month. They are the lucky ones. 
They are at peace!
What is peace?
I don't know anymore.
 
The road I travel now is lonely.


I was never much for unicorns,
Yet now they have meaning for me.

I am not sure exactly yet what that is.
Maybe because they are magical and I need some magical fantasy in my life to escape
the harsh reality that life is very fragile and can be gone in an instant. 








Friday, August 6, 2021

I'm Gonna Miss you! Billie Monahan

 Billie Monahan
November 15, 1956 - July 22, 2021

You can not think of Billie and not think of the Queen Bee!
She Owned it!

I remember taking this picture of Billie. We lived practically next door to each other on 7th Street in Umatilla. Our kids played together. Billie and I would hang together. 
This was taken at McNary Beach when we took all the kids swimming. This day is etched in my mind as a good memory and I wished we had more of them. 


Another huge memory I have of Billie is one Halloween. I had a little car, can't remember if it was my Volkswagen or my little blue square fiat. I got all dressed up as a witch and wanted to go play around in town. Of course Hubby was to embarrassed to go with me. He does not like attention drawn upon himself. Billie was ready and willing to go. 

We tootled off into town, and mostly drug the gut. 
(You old timers will know what that is.)
I did an outstanding job on my make up and the only think I was missing was a broom. 
Honking and waving at people got their attention and the double takes got me to giggling. 

We both smoked at the time, and I think I had caught my nose on fire lighting my cigarette, because we laughed so hard I had to pull over till I calmed down and had my wits about me to drive home. 

As time passes people move on. Billie was the first to move from the neighborhood, and we lost touch for a few years. 

I reconnected with Billie off an on thru the years. One time I remember going to her cute little apartment and she was showing me all the things she was sewing. PJ's for the grandkids and I really thought they were awesome. 

She worked at Rite Aide for quite some time and then went to work in the maintenance office at the hospital. I got a job at the hospital as the property manager and we reconnected. It was a joy to go to work everyday and see her smiling face. When she wasn't smiling I did something goofy and would get a grin at least. 

Work generally got in the way of having fun, as usual. 

I then quit the hospital as I wound up having some medical issues. 
They all worked out well for me.

Then I heard that Billie had some medical issues too. 
Then Covid hit and isolation took its toll. 
 But we mostly communicated via text.

I will miss Billie not being in this world of ours. 
I will miss her very much!


The above sums her up to a "T"

Beautiful! Beautiful! Billie! 
Gone way before your time!
We should of grew old together so we could of 
been rebels in the old folks home!


Till we meet again! 
With our angel wings on!