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Saturday, July 20, 2024

So Much Changed

 The last post I see was back in 2021 when Rick was Diagnosed with cancer. It has a been a whorl wind ride. Our life was consumed with day to day living between radiation appointments, blood draws, chemo appointments, MRI's, PET scans,  and doctors telling us everything will be ok. It wasn't and I could see that. For awhile Rick did pretty good. Even got in a trip to Tennesee with his cousin on his three wheeler Harley he was forced to get because the doctor said his bones were weak and they were in fear of him fracturing any bones.  

His PSA numbers started to climb and they tried other Chemo types, and finally the last Chemo they said was going to be juiced up as they were going to hit it hard. Hard they did, because after 3 of the 6 sechduled treatments he said no more. It caused radical puking that he never got over. July of 2023 Rick faded away. Everyday I waited for the inevitable. Every day Rick slept more and more. When he slept he was out of pain, but when he was awake the pain, which was located in his hips was unbearable. He was on some powerful pain meds that did nothing to ease the pain. 

On July 29th, 2023 God finally took him home and out of this world that ended up in pain and sickness. He passed 2 days before our 48th wedding anniversary. We were together for 50 years. 50 years of ups and downs. Of love and disagreements. Of family life and raising 3 boys. Of grandkids that he cherished with his heart and enjoyed every minute of being around. 

Our eldest son and family had purchased a home and renovated a tiny house for use to live in. We down sized and sold or gave away a lot of things. I am glad that I am where I am because I have family close by.

Rick did not want to move. I know he liked it where we lived, but he also knew that I could not take care of the farm and him by myself either. So June 10th was the first night we spent in the new tiny house. 

I am able to have my pony's with me, and they have been my saving grace. They keep me going and offer up enjoyment. 

I am going to try once again to keep my blog up. For now, this is a shorten version of the last 3 years. It is almost coming upon a year in 9 days. I am going to try to keep busy and not think about it. I hate the feeling of dispair and I am not one to sit and cry all day. I want to look forward to life and live it to the fullest. I don't have Rick walking with me on earth, but I feel him in around me. In the dragonfly's that I see, the butterflys that flit about, the hawks flying overhead, and the breeze that gently move my chimes when there is not a speck of wind out. 

In the beginning I made videos of Rick in honor of him and his life. Feel free to go there and view them, I uploaded them to Youtube. 

Here is a link to the Video commemorating a year of when he left this earth. 

https://youtu.be/tLKXpHmTkJI

From here you can view the other views I have created. 

Till the 12th of Never!