Saturday, September 26, 2009

Horsercise!

I looking up Equine Rescues in my state, or Oregon, I came across this at:
Oh and please check out their website, and the story of CARSON! What a doll!

I horsercise with Sissy and Sadie almost everyday! 
Will keep you posted on the outcome!
Horsercise
At this time of year, after the holidays, ads for weight-loss programs saturate print media and the airwaves. Even TV talk shows devote time to the battle of the bulge.

I caught part of a Dr. Phil episode in which the prominent self-help guru was evaluating the situation of one overweight guest. The woman commented that she'd like to buy a horse so she could get exercise via riding. "That's great for the horse," responded Dr. Phil drolly, "but what good is it for you?" Obviously, Dr. Phil has missed out on the cardiovascular workout we women get attempting to get into a sports bra and riding pants.... Clearly, the good doctor doesn't own a horse. At least, not the right horse. A quiet, well-broke, agreeable mount may indeed not offer much in the way of fitness training. But, the right horse (and most of us have owned 1 or 2, haven't we?) will provide a body-building, cardiovascular-enhancing workout t hat would make Richard Simmons envious.

Allow me to explain.... With the right horse, you begin your fitness program by walking out to the pasture. As you stride briskly, you carry the halter and lead rope behind you, pushed up high on your back so the lead doesn't drag. The purpose of this is to tone your chest and upper-arm muscles (because you're not fooling your horse, for he knows what you carry). As you approach to within a few feet of him, he'll walk slowly away from you, but at a pace just so you can't reach him, then stop. This will be repeated several times in succession, until you're ready to jog. At that point, because you own just the right horse, he will trot, then gallop around the pasture. If you're at the advanced level of fitness, you may continue chasing after him for maximum aerobic benefits, or just stop and start throwing rocks at him to give your rotator cuffs a workout. (Make sure you switch throwing arms. Not only is this a benefit to you, your horse will think it hilarious). Beginners may =0 A prefer to toss the halter and lead on the ground, bend forward from the waist, and engage in heavy breathing and chanting (that's what we'll call it, anyway -- chanting) as the horse continues to circle the field. For those of you that have experience with this exercise, you may choose to throw the halter and lead, walk briskly, bend, pick up, repeat. When the horse determines you've had enough of this warm-up session, he'll allow you to catch him.

Now comes the total upper-body workout of grooming. The right horse, of course, will be caked in dried mud. The cement-like consistency of it will require work-to-exhaustion effort of your biceps and triceps. NOTE: This exercise has added value, the dried mud will stick to your face with perspiration, instant facial! Next comes the bending, stretching, and toning of hoof-picking. Bend over, pick up the horse's left front foot, then be prepared to jump back as he stomps it back down to the ground, narrowly missing your foot. (Keep your knees bent as you jump, to protect your lower back.) Reach down and pick up the foot again, hopping about with the horse to maintain your grip as you attempt to pick what seems to be dirt mixed with Super Glue from the hoof. Eventually the horse may stand still; you may be chanting by this time. Repeat the entire circuit 3 more times with the remaining feet.

Once you can stand erect again, it's time for the insect repellent exercise. True, with this one, your horse may actually get more of a workout than you do, but you certainly get more of the repellent. It goes like this: Squirt!-circle- circle. Squirt!-circle- circle. Squirt!-circle- circle--- and so on, until you're completely misted with repellent and chanting 'whoa you sonofab... whoa'. To receive maximum benefit from this exercise, make sure you are at the beginning of a deep inhalation during the 'squirt' cycle and exhale after the last chanting 'whoa'.

With the right horse, saddling up provides both aerobic and strength building benefits. The trick is to keep your feet moving as you heft the saddle blanket over and over (and over), trying to keep it in place on a moving target. The blanket exercise warms you up for the saddle exercise, for which the routine is the same, only the weight is much greater -- perfect for buffing those hard-to-tone shoulder muscles.

Now comes the mounting exercise. With the right horse, it's left leg up, hop-hop-hop, left leg down, heavy breathing. Left leg up, hop-hop-hop, left leg down, heavy breathing. For balance, go around to the other side and continue the exercise (right leg up, hop-hop-hop, heavy breathing, right leg down, heavy breathing, etc.). When your heart rate begins to exceed your target range, look for a bucket. Bend over, pick it up, place it upside-down next to t he horse, wait for the horse to move away, then bend over, pick it up again, place it next to the horse, and so on. NOTE: This is a cooling down routine, not to be confused with the warm up pasture routine. When the horse deems you've had enough of these repetitions, he'll stand still and allow you to actually mount.

At this point, of course, you'll be too exhausted to ride and your facial mask will be dropping off in chunks. It's best not to overdo it, so dismount, grab a glass of wine, and head in to recover in a bubble bath.

Author unknown

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Sneaky DOGS!

I have TWO WHOLE ACRES of property out here,
AND...
I have to buy POTS To plant some veggies.
I planted three tomato plants and two pepper plants.
I think the labels were wrong in the plants when I bought them.
They did not disclose that Dogs might eat them!


All THREE of my dogs LOVE GREEN TOMATOES
One day, I looked and I had probably 20 tomatoes on the plant that Sassy is hiding behind.
Then the next day I went to check on  them, and was SHOCKED!
NOT a tomato one!
I don't know who it was that discovered they liked the tomatoes but
I know that ALL Three of them eat them.
They nose the tomato till it falls off.
Then gently pick it up and carry it off.
Then proceed to lay down and enjoy the stolen prize.

 
I have gotten some Peppers off of ONE plant.
The little peppers are mine.
 
Aren't they just to cute?
And so tasty too!
Not hot!
Sweet!
 
Either the dogs have not tasted these or they do not like them.
It is the only one of my plants that has produced anything.
 
I think next year, I am going to Plant HOT PEPPERS around my tomatoes!
I am waiting for them to ask me to FRY THEM UP!
If they tell me they love FRIED GREEN TOMATOES,
I will faint!
I would not put it past Taumee to do something like that.

By the way, I am home sick today.
I have been fighting a cold since Monday.
you know how it starts in your head, and winds up in your chest!
WELL Last night it settled in my chest!

I am blowing on this blog as I type in the hopes to pass this on.
They say if you can pass it on, you will get better!
I hate being sick!

Friday, September 18, 2009

The First Virtual Protest on YoVille!

There is trouble brewing on the horizon!
It is in the YoVille virtual world on MySpace and Facebook. 

CNN NEWS has even captured the fury!

People are terribly upset on YoVille and Rightly so!
I play YoVille.
I LOVE the game. (Well I use to.)

But now it has turned in nothing more than
Farmville
or
Farm Town
or any of those other games you grow crops and stuff on!

The reason I liked YoVille was:
I did not have to stand by my computer to make YoVille Coins.

YoVille Coins are used to decorate your house.
Purchase clothing.
Get gifts for people.
(I will not spend REAL money playing the game, but the YoVille coins are free.)

Now if you do not check in at least once a day,
You can loose a lot of coins, or not make any at all!
There are days I do not check in, and yes I do not earn my coins then either.
But I don't loose any.

Nope, If YoVille continues with this "SWEETS FACTORY" then it will be a sad state of affairs!
I will have to give up playing it!

I heard that SMALL WORLDS is better to play anyway.
I am going to go check it out!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Colonoscopy Journal

Not much goes around the internet these days that I have not read or seen. This came to me today, and it is a new one on me. It is cute and funny, and also a reminder that Colonoscopy's, even though the thought of them are not a good thing, they really are a good thing to have done!

Colonoscopy Journal

Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.


Colonoscopy Journal: I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven.  I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation.  In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep.  You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric
system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug.  This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'

This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch?  This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt.  You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently.  You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage.  I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?'  How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked..

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down.  Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.   At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode.  You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist.  I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere.  I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA.  I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.

'Ha ha,' I said.  And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade.  If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea.  Really.  I slept through it.  One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt.  I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Back in the Saddle!

I just LOVE the catalog:
I keep telling my family,
Since they never know what to get me for a gift when the occassion suits itself,
just go here and pick ANYTHING!
Just anything at all!
I did order this shower curtain, and I love it!
 
Then they have such cute T'shirts!

 
Doesn't that look JUST LIKE MY HORSE?
Here is Sissy below:

Then they have this wall mural that I would give my left boob for: 
 
But it is quite expensive. 
I just love the bottom door mat:

Go check them out. 
Order a catalog.
I would loan you mine, but I don't think you would appreciate the drool spots on it! 

Thursday, September 10, 2009

People of Walmart

I got an email today that cracked me up.
has a story on it.
The website's founders, three guys in their early 20s who preferred to provide only their first names, aren't interested in stereotypical rednecks or run-of-the-mill mullet sightings. "Mullets are too common," says Andrew, who is 23 and lives in Indiana. "We want to document the kind of stuff that when you see it, you immediately have to call someone and be like, 'Dude, I'm at Walmart and I just saw a goat.' " 
 
This is quite hiliarious.
 

CHECK IT OUT!

I hope "I" Am never featured here! LOL

So if any of you notice oddities at your local Wal-Mart,
PHOTO IT
and 
SEND IT! 

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Sign Up Your Dog!

I signed my dog up for welfare. 
Do you think he's eligible? 
He's black, lazy & has no frigging idea who his daddy is...

Monday, September 7, 2009

Bike trip at the butt crack of dawn!

At the butt crack of dawn,
well actually it was 7:30 AM we meet at Pilot Truck stop.
We are headed out to North Powder to visit a high school friend of Rick's.
Plus it gets us all on our bikes.

This is me, Patricia and Becky.
Patricia got so cold riding to Pendelton, that her and Mark
came back home.
IT WAS CHILLY!
Actually down right FREEZING!
Well not ice cube freezing, but it was COLD!
We stopped in Ukiah to stretch out legs, and warm up a bit.
 
  
  
What the heck I was doing here, I have no idea.
Looks like I just spit! LOL
But I made a new best friend. 
This little gal was the sweetest!
The most lovable!
and had some pups somewhere. 
I really wanted to take her home with us.
I told her if she could hop on the bike and ride, 
I would take her home, and she would keep me warm!
  
 So I went into the little store to inquire about her,
and the store owner said she had a home with a gentleman
that lived somewhere behind the store.
I asked him what the dogs name was.
He did not know.
NOW in a little town with a population of about 100 people
and with a little dog that hung out all the time, 
You would THINK that folks would just know the answer to these types
of questions! But I guess NOT!
We took another break in the mountains.
WE WERE COLD!
For the longest time, I could not figure out WHY my leather jacket
acted like I did not even have it on.
I swear it felt like it was made of MESH screen.
I got quite cold.
It dawned on me at about this time, 
I DID NOT HAVE MY LINER IN IT!
That liner makes a world of difference.
Even though I was wearing a t-shirt and a sweatshirt also.
 
  
After 194 miles and 5 1/2 hours we arrive!
  
On the corner of this street:
  
Lives a motel.
A motel my husbands folks owned and operated from
1968-1972.
  
I could not resist taking a photo of this bench under a nice tree in the yard of the motel.
  
Across the street from the Motel is this little store that
Rick's good friend, Ernie's, folks ran.
  
This is North Powders GROCERY STORE!
From the outside it does not look like it,
but the inside had a few groceries and I think you could even order pizza here.
  
The one and only cafe in North Powder.
Ernie lives just two blocks from here,
so it was good to walk.
We came here and ate lunch.
  
Tom and Becky sitting across from Rick and Ernie.
Ernie is on a first name basis with the waitress.
  
Flowers on the outside of the resturant.
You see that baggie hanging?
There are pennies in it.
Does anyone KNOW WHY!!?
  
Close up of the flowers. There were just so pretty.
  
  
When we left the restaurant, this is the view, of the main street going through North Powder.
  
This is my camera on 10X zoom in!
WOW!
  
  
This is the school that Rick and Ernie use to go to.
It is the high school.
  
Rick and Ernie. Oh what fun it was to talk about 'the days'.
  
 Men always seem to look at their feet when they talk.

Here Becky is waiting to get on the road.
 
One of the stops we made was at Meacham.
It is in the blue mountains, and they have cabins there you can rent.
These logs ARE real!
There is NOTHING between the logs like insulation! LOL
Kind of cute, but:
You can't take pets!
What the heck?
No pets?
It is not like they have carpet or anything.
I will not be renting one.
 
 The ride home went faster. 
It took 2 hours and was 100 miles.
The day was long!
It was good!
I had fun!
My A$$ is sore!
Gotta get a new seat if I continue to ride for long periods of time.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Two different kinds of rides........

Today I rode Sadie in the round pen. 
She was so very patient with me!
I have a hard time getting in the saddle cause I am so short.
Sadie is a lot shorter than Sissy,
but still...
So I wound up having her straddle a railroad tie. 
That extra 9 inches made all the difference in the world.
Anyway before that, 
I slid the saddle in my first attempt.
Upright the saddle and adjust.....
Slid the saddle again!
UGH!
Undo the cinches, re adjust saddle, again!
Sadie all the while would check me, and nose my butt as if to say, 
"NEED HELP THERE?"
Then at one point I noticed she had her hind foot cocked.
I pointed to my hubby that this was a sign of total relaxation!
UGH!
For pete sake!
She was telling me to wake up her when I got mounted! LOL
Anyway, I finally got it figured out, and rode her around. It was great!
I did not get pictures, as hubby does not think of the camera like I do!
But I do have pictures of our motocycle ride today!
We headed out....
The clouds were brewing.
It was getting darker...
Then it was getting wet!
We turned around, and headed back.
We did not have rain gear on.
Did not really think we would get rained on, as it was 
CLEAR SKIES to the Right and Rain to the left.
It was a good thing we did turn around though.
We still had a lot of fun.
Tomorrow we are going on a LONG bike ride.
We are riding to NORTH POWDER so
hubby can visit a friend.
It will be about a 280 mile round trip!
WISH ME LUCK!
My limit is usually 30 miles........ round trip! HAHA...
This is me an Becky. The Columbia River is behind us. 
We on the Washington side of McNary Dam.
We wanted shots of the back of our coats.
These are Harley Davidson Wings.
WE are the: "ROAD ANGELS"
The guys are: "FREEDOM CRUISERS"
Me with my hubby's bike.
Becky and Tom with their bike.
Me and Hubby with his bike.
See how close they built the ground to my backside?
Now you understand why I have difficulty getting on my horse? LOL
Tom and Becky behind us.
This was a litteral, 'POINT and SHOOT'! LOL
Nice billowy clouds.
They were very meanacing earlier
and you could just see a wall of water headed toward us.
This is Umatilla from the Washington side of the river.
Tom and Becky. We are now in Umatilla.
Main Street of Umatilla, OREGON
The end of Main. Headed out of town
across the Umatilla River.
Down Hwy 730 towards home.
Pulling in our driveway.
Our house is behind the camp trailer.
Rick and I going down the road.
Now sure what they are looking at......but the sky was sure neat.
Had a lot of fun. 
We went to dinner afterwards.
We got the car and all of us rode together to the Tri-Cities
29 miles to the north of us.
We went to the Outback!
I am still in awe of how good the food was!
Simply Delicious!